L'art et le plaisir

There is this great method that my teacher taught me so I could improve my memory. She told me to go over every little thing I did on my day just before I went to sleep. To live it all again in my mind right before falling sleep. And it was nice, and it worked out just fine. That's were I began to notice all the things I haven't noticed before. I noticed how naive and inocent I was when I first fell deeply in love. The bloody knuckle days I lived through, asking him not to leave me, begging him to stay, crying night after night asking someone I'm not quite sure to believe in, to bring him back to me. I noticed how painful that was and how much did it changed me. How I started to put myself on incredible danger just to feel alive again. Being drunk at parties where nobody knew me. Flirting, a lot. Being scared of have flirtered a lot. Being scared of how the guy touches me and forces himself on me. Taking walks at 2:00 am. Taking rides in motorbikes with guys I ...